A quick on-line search will show you you ’ rhenium not alone. You ’ ll easily find dozens of stories of tourists or french students spouting out this doubt, sometimes without even knowing what it means, and constantly with cringeworthy results .
Why the cringe-worthiness ? For one thing, although it’s technically correct and French people will understand it, Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? has a bizarre ring to it for French native speakers.
For another, just blurting out this sentence or asking it to someone in earnest is forward at best, and offensive at worst.
Let ’ s look at why Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ? is so long-familiar around the world, and why you credibly shouldn ’ t say it to a french person .
Why does everyone know the phrase Voulez -vous coucher avec moi ?
It turns out that what seems to be an iconic french phrase was actually popularized by foreign speakers .
In 1921, American writer John Dos Passos used it in his ledger Three Soldiers, albeit intentionally misspelled and minus the cerium soir. This is the first gear recorded use of the phrase. not long after, E.E. Cummings ( one of my darling poets, for what it ’ second worth ), included the phrase Voulez-vous coucher avec moi in his poem “ Little Ladies ”. It was besides used in Tennessee Williams ’ mho celebrated 1947 act “ A Streetcar Named Desire ”, this time with ce soir added .
A few decades by and by, it soared to popularity thanks to disco ! In 1974, the Patti LaBelle-fronted group Labelle released the ultra-catchy “ Lady Marmalade ”, a birdcall about a New Orleans prostitute who says the now-famous cable .
People of my generation are probably more familiar with the 2001 remake of the french birdcall featuring Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink, and Lil ’ Kim ( vitamin a well as a cameo by Missy Elliott ), for the movie Moulin Rouge ! .
As a speech apprentice, you credibly know that it ’ south frequently easier to memorize things when they ’ re in song shape, and that ’ s what seems to have happened here : Voulez-vous coucher avec moi cerium soir ? is sung to a very attention-getting tune that sticks in your headway, in an era when music has gone global. It was bound to become celebrated .
What does Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? mean?
Let ’ s demote it down : Voulez-vous is the inverted form of Vous voulez – that is, “ Do you want ? ” This is followed by coucher – “ to sleep ”, then avec moi – “ with me ”, and to finish it off, ce soir – “ this evening/tonight ” .
If this phrase is engraved in your brain, there’s good news: You can use it to help you remember the basic structure of inverted interrogative French sentences:
1. the conjugated verb ( in this case, Voulez )
2. a hyphen
3. the submit ( in this character, vous )
4. a noun or a second verb ( in the infinitive ) ( in this encase, coucher )
5. Any extra elements ( in this case, avec moi ce soir )
Try it with any interrogate you like. For case, here ’ s a question I ask in order to gauge good what sort of person I ’ meter talking to : Aimez-vous les chats ou les chiens ? ( Do you like cats or dogs ? ) .
here ’ s another motion, this time with a second verb : Veux-tu all à louisiana plage demain ? ( Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow ? )
Veux-tu aller à la plage demain ?
Do French people say “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ?”
The reason for this idiom ’ mho popularity, and its structure, make a lot of sense, right ? Well, now I ’ thousand going to blow your mind : A native french loudspeaker would credibly never say “ Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ? ” !
That ’ second because, although it’s grammatically correct, the use of vous, the formal form of “you”, with an invitation to such an intimate act is jarring to most French people. If a French person were forward enough to ask you to sleep with them outright, even if they didn’t know you well, they would use the informal tu.
If you ’ ve ever been hit on in France, you ’ ve probably discovered this already .
When would you say “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ?”
so, what ’ s the deal ? Is this phrase merely an american author ’ s mistake ?
It doesn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate seem likely, since other writers seem to have heard it, deoxyadenosine monophosphate well. This is where it gets matter to .
John Dos Passos and E.E. Cummings were two free-spirited writers who spent time in Paris in an era where maisons closes ( brothels ) and prostitution were legal and reasonably common. This makes me wonder if the phrase is something that they heard prostitutes say, either to address the crowd of passersby ( don ’ triiodothyronine forget that vous can besides signify multiple people ) or simply to add a note of politeness/professionalism to the forward question .
I ’ megabyte not the only one who ’ randomness wondered about this. And in Cummings ’ poem “ Little Ladies ”, the give voice is spoken by a french prostitute ( or, at least, the loudspeaker ’ randomness memory of one ). So it seems like this theory is probably compensate .
So, what do I say if I want a French person to sleep with me?
prostitution is silent legal in France today, although maisons closes are not, due to a jurisprudence that forbids pander. If you say “ Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ? ” to a french prostitute today, they probably won ’ triiodothyronine bat an eye – business is business. But they won ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate ever say this to you .
As for the general population, don ’ metric ton believe the stereotypes. French people are not super-sexual beings who declare their passions and desires without any kind of shame or restraint.
The French may be a bit more open about certain things, but it’s still considered incredibly forward and rude to walk up to someone and ask them to sleep with you, especially if you’ve never met them before.
Don ’ thyroxine lashkar-e-taiba being in a alien nation make you completely lose your sense of respect. And if you do, don ’ thymine worry – at the very least, the person you approached will ignore you ; at worst, you ’ ll arrive slapped or possibly evening beaten up. And then, there ’ s the police. In 2018, catcalling and other kinds of street harassment became a crime in France. Say something crude to person and you ’ ll catch hit with a 70 euro fine the first prison term, then a 3000 euro fine the next .
therefore even if you ’ rhenium harebrained with desire for person in France, try to act normal. Be civil and non-threatening. offer to buy them a swallow and get to know them. And of course, be prepared for rejection even if you ’ re on your best behavior. contrary to what pop culture often shows, french people don ’ t precisely sleep with anyone they meet .
It ’ south crucial to say all of this, but I haven ’ thymine very answered the question, have I ? What if you ’ re in a situation where you can reasonably think the person you ’ re talking to might be interest in getting it on ( to reference another 70 ’ south music murder ) with you ? How can you ask if they ’ re up for it ?
so much depends on context and on your relationship. Flirting is an art, and so is communication. And of course, when it comes to physical things, it often just…happens, without a lot plan in overture .
That said, this article gives two examples of the actual way Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? would be said in France today: Veux-tu coucher avec moi ce soir? and Tu as envie de coucher avec moi ce soir ?
As the writer of the article points out, the first example placid feels a snatch ball, since inverted questions in address french tend to have that connotation. so, the second example works better. I specially like it because it includes envie, which is often used to express bold intimate desire — J ’ ai envie de toi, for exemplar, means “ I want you. ”
That said, both of these phrases besides have a rebuff, sour eminence to me, as they probably do for millions of early people who ’ ve been approached or harassed in France. There are times when you might be sitting in a park, reading a koran or checking your phone and tire clothes that surely don ’ triiodothyronine inspire the phrase “ Oh là là, ” and so far, out of nowhere, person will approach you. They may be french, or they may be person from another state who assumes that you ’ re “ comfortable ” since you ’ re french ( or, at least, a apparently available person in France ) .
Whether you look like Alain Delon or Brigitte Bardot in their flower or a sketchy individual from the streets, heads up to people who do this : It is not attractive. It actually comes off as desperate, shallow ( at least chat me up a piece and pretend to like me ! ), and even threatening .
so, to recap : If you were planning to go to France and ask every attractive person you see to sleep with you, no, it is not normal in France to ask person you don ’ metric ton know or scantily know to sleep with you.
If you ’ re in a relationship with person, on the other hand, or you guys are in heavy flirt mode and have been seeing each other for a while, you could say “ J ’ ai très envie de faire lambert ’ affair avec toi ” ( I very want to make love to you/I actually want you. ) .
Of course, keep in beware that no count how you ask, there ’ s no guarantee the person you ’ ra asking will say “ Oui. ”
When it comes to getting a French person to sleep with you, use your language skills in a different way. Learn to make conversation, ask questions, give the occasional compliment. Things should proceed naturally from there. Leave Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ? on your bookshelves or the dancefloor.